"you are so young to have experienced so much stripping" she said, validating my feelings and renewing my concern over what I'm being prepared for. If it's an early exit from this world I'm ready, but I fear it is preparation for more sacrifice...
I was reading in Romans today about Abraham and his righteousness. It made me think more about his story and how when asked to offer up his only son through whom the promise was to be fulfilled he didn't hesitate. He considered that God could raise him back from the dead. How did he get there? How was that answer on hand so thouroughly that he didn't have to deliberate or pray or wrestle in fear and anguish?
Because of the previous 25 years of waiting and messing up.
oh man! 25 years! He had learned through God's provision, correction, direction, and patience that HE is faithful. So that when Abraham was asked to offer up Isaac, he knew the one in whom he trusted. And I want to be one who trusts the love of my Father's hand so much that I will fearlessly offer up anything He takes, but what a grip I have on this little world I've been given. And the truth is, He has provided! I have learned to appreciate kinesthetics more I think now that I don't dance daily. I have learned what a joy it is to have my two babies more fully. I have learned what a gift it is to have a family close and dear and understanding. I have seen that they are all provisions from His hand and that is not to mention all the physical gifts He's poured on me. And I suppose all of this just goes to show that I am like the servant who "knows" that he is a "hard man" burying his gifts... and from him they were taken and given to the faithful servant (Matthew 25:14-30). Lord, have mercy! I believe. Help my unbelief!
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
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