Victory

I have performed before hundreds, I have driven a motorcycle, I have been a passenger in a race car, but few things in life have given me the thrill that successful partnership with my children has given me.  The moments that Olivia and Caleb came into the world were two of the most victorious moments in my life.  Few things in life come close to the feeling of accomplishment that accompanies labor.  Today was another victorious motherhood moment.  We had our first day of success homeschooling first grade; It was awesome!  I was humbled as I considered that my parents had shared this same experience years before as they parented me; and I know what all followed.  Children can be your highest high, and your lowest, gut-wrenching low.  I know the ride I took them on, especially the concentrated agony about 13 years later.

I am tempted to see today's moment of euphoria as a delusion caused by idilic perspective.  Unrealistic.  But then I am reminded that it is ALL good gift.

I write this to Mamma Heather 2028.  It was real.  The good was really good.  And... the same good God that gave you those blissful moments gives you this harder one.  Even the most grace filled child carries the most agonizing pain in the faithful loving of them.  It's still good if I can surrender it to Christ in thankfulness.  The wounds are faithful.  It is a real pain, this cutting back of the "sap suckers" that allows for good healthy growth.  Surrender to it thankfully.  Thankful for the sweet of then and the sharp of now.

And to my own mamma, I'm sorry.  Thank you for entering into the pure goodness of those sweet moments with me as a child.  And thank you for bearing in your body the sufferings of Christ as you prayed the moments of failure into battlefields of unyielding, faith-birthing grace.  And thank you for sheepherding my heart even now as I begin my own journey of motherhood.  I love you.