As I wait for Lucas to arrive I look for meaning in the waiting. So often if I can find a “why” it helps me get behind what I’m being asked to do- right now what I’m asked to do is wait in semi-constant discomfort for a transition into extreme discomfort and pain to bring about final resolution of the anticipated joy which is the moment they lay a new baby in your arms for the first time and it is suddenly all worth it. As I wait, my daily Bible readings include many references by Jeremiah the prophet about the cries of a woman in labor....agony. I am very well aware of what he speaks. I’ve had three unmediated births so far (not something I recommend for everyone but something that I’ve found very personally enriching) and I am anticipating this one being every bit as brutal. I am reminded too of Romans 18 which speaks of all of creation groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. That’s where I realized that the last 9 months spent growing this person, the better part of a year, the majority of a global pandemic, the concerns and excitements and anxieties that have felt so long sometimes, are such a tiny shining reflection of what God has been doing since our exile from Eden. The seed of promise was planted at that time (“he [her offspring] shall bruise your head”), and has been growing and swelling and making its presence and reality known and seen (just like Lucas kicks and squirms and stretches from within) in every covenant and commandment and story that points to our need of a savior ever lived out or recorded since. And even since Christ has thrown us into the realm of “now but not yet” we still wait for the final revelation. It’s like we’ve gone from pregnancy (pre-Christ) to labor (now but not yet). And there I’ve found my “why”. I have been given the privilege of living out a picture (really very abbreviated if you think about it) of God’s patience and long-suffering towards us. And even now as I wait for labor and wonder if every contraction is a Braxton Hicks or the real thing it makes me realize the eagerness I ought to have as I watch for the return of Christ- the time of knowing fully even as we are fully known.
Ultimately it is the same reason or “why” behind why I’ve chosen unmediated births. While in our current medical development enduring that kind of pain is usually unnecessary and for most women unwanted, I have found it to be one of the few times in life I must fully enter into the reality of creations’ longing. There’s something to the fact that Jesus refused the spiced wine as he hung on the cross to fully bear my burden of pain and suffering merited by my treason, and while the pain of labor is not a punishment for sin, it is a consequence of it. I guess for me there is a richness of entering into the blessing of a covered discipline- the pain that Love assigned as discipline to His children to draw them in need towards him. And truly this year as I’ve watched adult women in my life who are decades removed from the physical pain of labor and child bearing I see that labor pains are but a foretaste of what is to come as the children you’ve born and raised and sacrificed for can stretch your heart in pains you didn’t know were possible to send you reeling again to Love’s arms to enable you to bear down in your groaning, praying that it will bring forth the hope of new life.
Ah, such things are too marvelous for me. I am thankful for the glimpses we get into the real; moments in life where the curtain is parted for a minute and you get to see the bigger picture you’re allowed to enter into living out. Lord, may even the duller more common and comfortable moments in life be pointers to the big picture of your vast long-suffering love towards us. My I never forget the real truth that we are welcomed to enter into as we live out these days groaning with creation for the revealing of the sons of glory. Come Lord Jesus, Come!
