I have been thinking about this a lot of late. Partly because I am now responsible for the upbringing of a beautiful little girl into a beautiful woman, partly because for years now I've been involved in the fringe influence of young girls being brought up by their parents, and partly because on a daily basis I'm faced with choices and decisions that bring into question what I believe about beauty, strength, dignity, and above all femininity. I've been wrestling a lot with feeling plain or (to put it casually) less than beautiful. It used to be when I felt this way I'd go pay a butt-load to get my hair professionally cut and styled by someone I saw as stylish or sharp, or perhaps if this had been done too recently I'd just put on some makeup, style my hair, put together a cute outfit and go out dancing with a friend or to a concert to "forget myself" as I let the music and movement take me away... or so I thought. I'm realizing more and more as I observe the people around me that I consider strong and beautiful, the ones that I wish I looked like, that my view is skewed. This culture's idol's have slowly crept into my heart and effected my world view.
Sex has become a tool more obviously than ever in this generation of women. If you went back, say, 60-80 years, you would see women embracing their femininity while not flaunting it (arguably albeit). You would see men honoring women as worth protecting. You would see young men brought up to cherish and adore women and young women brought up to adore and support men. Now women use their "femininity" (viz. sexuality) to lure men, while men expect women to be the gatekeepers. Women have so stolen the reigns that it is now their job to initiate, define, and moderate relationships while (culturally) men take all they can till they're stopped when they either engage in the chase of pushing boundaries or loose interest and move on. Young girls are taught that sexy is beautiful, and not needing a man is strong. Songs like "single ladies", "to the left","maneater", "poker face" etc talk about heartlessness or untouchability as strength. Young young young girls are strapped into lude outfits and taught scandalous dances in dance studios around the world while daddy holds the cam corder and mom claps her heart out. Unless a mother is willing to jump back into the gym right after child birth and perhaps have some nip and tuck procedures, she is viewed as worn out and soggy. Just forget it if you look even a day over 45... No one remembers to explain that you are a slave to the master you serve. Sexuality will own you ounce for ounce as you use it. It is a selling of the soul.
Where is the beauty of generosity? Where is the virtue of self-control and self-sacrifice? Where is the lesson of using your body as the tool and temple of the Holy Spirit instead of as a tool for control and appetite? Why are we so early seeking to awaken the sleeping dragon of "love" that Solomon urges us to let slumber until the appointed time (Song of Solomon 2:7)? Why are we teaching our young daughters that their value is in the physical luster so easily lost to time and sorrow... We need to turn it around. It starts with me. It starts by my choosing to not complain in front of Olive about feeling fat or ugly or plain... by choosing to value her character over her cute face and smooth skin. It starts with me deciding to find contentment with what God has given me and not seek to feel secure by dressing a certain way or having a certain hair cut or even projecting a swaggering confidence in myself. I will choose instead to boast in Christ and Him crucified; to find my beauty in those parts of me that have succeeded in being like Him in His death and resurrection. Choosing to make even this broken body a slave to His mercy. Today the will is strong, but God help me for the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Human tradition...
I love tradition. Christmas, 4th of July, Thanksgiving, birthdays... the mere mention of such holidays brings back a happy flood of memories held up by traditions of my family. I know from experience that without these traditions, the celebration for me is not complete or equally heart felt.
I was going to blog today to stand up against human tradition within the church; the substitution of God's decrees for man's expectations... I pulled out my Bible and researched the passages I thought would support my case; apparently God wanted to use my pride to teach me something : ) I do think, and know for certain, that tradition is the last thing of importance when talking about salvation. God doesn't need ritual to redeem. However... I grew up at a church that met in a school auditorium with chairs that were set up by a custodian, brown carpet on the floor and stage. I knew every face in the church. I was friends with most the girls regardless of if they were older than me or not. The biggest drama I experienced there was the time I talked behind my friend's back because she got to help out in the nursery more than I did... We sang mostly praise songs, very few hymns, but the worship was led by my parents and so was naturally the best in the world (note sarcasm in my voice). When we left this church it was with sorrow and pain. My family never found a replacement for that church. When I was 17 I chose a church. It was liturgical and sang hymns and smelled of age. Everyone knew my name and I led the cubbies on Wednesday nights. When I moved to Portland I chose a Reformed Presbyterian church. This was the most tradition laden church I'd ever been a part of.
That tradition slowly became a part of what the "church" experience "should" be for me. I am always let down when someone reads scripture publicly and doesn't remind us in solemnity that "This is the Word of the Lord" keeping from us the chance to exclaim, "Thanks be to God!". Communion doesn't seem quite communal enough when they just pass around Christ's body and blood(it actually strikes me as irreverent) in a fake gold pan. I long for the experience of joining in as one body to confess, repent of, and be reminded of our salvation from our sins. I long to walk purposefully, intentionally down the isle, taking hold of Christ's sacrifice for me (as represented in the bread and wine) singing our sorrow and thanks, receiving a reminder of God's blessing on me and my family, and partaking in this life giving experience with my fellow believers. All of these man made traditions are not mandates from God. He tells us to take communion in remembrance of Him but not the specifics of how.
The Bible tells us not to "forsake the gathering of the saints". For some this means going to church, sitting next to a stranger, forcing yourself to vulnerably close your eyes and sing along with a song that is repetitive, once a month eating bread and foul juice out of a fake gold plate, and maybe if you're a good person staying after to chat with your friends. For some this means meeting regularly with their friends who are fellow believers and talking about their life in light of their Savior if not in a church building. For some this means going to church 2,3,or even 7 times a week to pray, hear the Word read, and recite liturgy together with fellow attenders. Obviously, you can hear in my tone which I respect more, but in honesty I understand that tradition is important for us as people. It helps us feel like we're actually observing the Holiday of the moment weather we're talking about Christmas holiday or the Holy-day of the Sabbath. I was reminded in Romans (14) that it's not always about a RIGHT way of doing things ("nothing is unclean in itself but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean") but about honoring your conscience first before God and then making sure that your convictions (or more specifically lack thereof) don't cause sin of conscience in your brother.
It's a bummer for someone like me who has a few different memories of "right". I can stomach most styles of Lord's day services but they all leave me feeling like something is lacking. I guess it's good for me to remember that even if the observation looks different, the day is equally holy, and the One observed is equally worthy of honor.
I was going to blog today to stand up against human tradition within the church; the substitution of God's decrees for man's expectations... I pulled out my Bible and researched the passages I thought would support my case; apparently God wanted to use my pride to teach me something : ) I do think, and know for certain, that tradition is the last thing of importance when talking about salvation. God doesn't need ritual to redeem. However... I grew up at a church that met in a school auditorium with chairs that were set up by a custodian, brown carpet on the floor and stage. I knew every face in the church. I was friends with most the girls regardless of if they were older than me or not. The biggest drama I experienced there was the time I talked behind my friend's back because she got to help out in the nursery more than I did... We sang mostly praise songs, very few hymns, but the worship was led by my parents and so was naturally the best in the world (note sarcasm in my voice). When we left this church it was with sorrow and pain. My family never found a replacement for that church. When I was 17 I chose a church. It was liturgical and sang hymns and smelled of age. Everyone knew my name and I led the cubbies on Wednesday nights. When I moved to Portland I chose a Reformed Presbyterian church. This was the most tradition laden church I'd ever been a part of.
That tradition slowly became a part of what the "church" experience "should" be for me. I am always let down when someone reads scripture publicly and doesn't remind us in solemnity that "This is the Word of the Lord" keeping from us the chance to exclaim, "Thanks be to God!". Communion doesn't seem quite communal enough when they just pass around Christ's body and blood(it actually strikes me as irreverent) in a fake gold pan. I long for the experience of joining in as one body to confess, repent of, and be reminded of our salvation from our sins. I long to walk purposefully, intentionally down the isle, taking hold of Christ's sacrifice for me (as represented in the bread and wine) singing our sorrow and thanks, receiving a reminder of God's blessing on me and my family, and partaking in this life giving experience with my fellow believers. All of these man made traditions are not mandates from God. He tells us to take communion in remembrance of Him but not the specifics of how.
The Bible tells us not to "forsake the gathering of the saints". For some this means going to church, sitting next to a stranger, forcing yourself to vulnerably close your eyes and sing along with a song that is repetitive, once a month eating bread and foul juice out of a fake gold plate, and maybe if you're a good person staying after to chat with your friends. For some this means meeting regularly with their friends who are fellow believers and talking about their life in light of their Savior if not in a church building. For some this means going to church 2,3,or even 7 times a week to pray, hear the Word read, and recite liturgy together with fellow attenders. Obviously, you can hear in my tone which I respect more, but in honesty I understand that tradition is important for us as people. It helps us feel like we're actually observing the Holiday of the moment weather we're talking about Christmas holiday or the Holy-day of the Sabbath. I was reminded in Romans (14) that it's not always about a RIGHT way of doing things ("nothing is unclean in itself but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean") but about honoring your conscience first before God and then making sure that your convictions (or more specifically lack thereof) don't cause sin of conscience in your brother.
It's a bummer for someone like me who has a few different memories of "right". I can stomach most styles of Lord's day services but they all leave me feeling like something is lacking. I guess it's good for me to remember that even if the observation looks different, the day is equally holy, and the One observed is equally worthy of honor.
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