The degradation of femininity

I have been thinking about this a lot of late. Partly because I am now responsible for the upbringing of a beautiful little girl into a beautiful woman, partly because for years now I've been involved in the fringe influence of young girls being brought up by their parents, and partly because on a daily basis I'm faced with choices and decisions that bring into question what I believe about beauty, strength, dignity, and above all femininity. I've been wrestling a lot with feeling plain or (to put it casually) less than beautiful. It used to be when I felt this way I'd go pay a butt-load to get my hair professionally cut and styled by someone I saw as stylish or sharp, or perhaps if this had been done too recently I'd just put on some makeup, style my hair, put together a cute outfit and go out dancing with a friend or to a concert to "forget myself" as I let the music and movement take me away... or so I thought. I'm realizing more and more as I observe the people around me that I consider strong and beautiful, the ones that I wish I looked like, that my view is skewed. This culture's idol's have slowly crept into my heart and effected my world view.

Sex has become a tool more obviously than ever in this generation of women. If you went back, say, 60-80 years, you would see women embracing their femininity while not flaunting it (arguably albeit). You would see men honoring women as worth protecting. You would see young men brought up to cherish and adore women and young women brought up to adore and support men. Now women use their "femininity" (viz. sexuality) to lure men, while men expect women to be the gatekeepers. Women have so stolen the reigns that it is now their job to initiate, define, and moderate relationships while (culturally) men take all they can till they're stopped when they either engage in the chase of pushing boundaries or loose interest and move on. Young girls are taught that sexy is beautiful, and not needing a man is strong. Songs like "single ladies", "to the left","maneater", "poker face" etc talk about heartlessness or untouchability as strength. Young young young girls are strapped into lude outfits and taught scandalous dances in dance studios around the world while daddy holds the cam corder and mom claps her heart out. Unless a mother is willing to jump back into the gym right after child birth and perhaps have some nip and tuck procedures, she is viewed as worn out and soggy. Just forget it if you look even a day over 45... No one remembers to explain that you are a slave to the master you serve. Sexuality will own you ounce for ounce as you use it. It is a selling of the soul.

Where is the beauty of generosity? Where is the virtue of self-control and self-sacrifice? Where is the lesson of using your body as the tool and temple of the Holy Spirit instead of as a tool for control and appetite? Why are we so early seeking to awaken the sleeping dragon of "love" that Solomon urges us to let slumber until the appointed time (Song of Solomon 2:7)? Why are we teaching our young daughters that their value is in the physical luster so easily lost to time and sorrow... We need to turn it around. It starts with me. It starts by my choosing to not complain in front of Olive about feeling fat or ugly or plain... by choosing to value her character over her cute face and smooth skin. It starts with me deciding to find contentment with what God has given me and not seek to feel secure by dressing a certain way or having a certain hair cut or even projecting a swaggering confidence in myself. I will choose instead to boast in Christ and Him crucified; to find my beauty in those parts of me that have succeeded in being like Him in His death and resurrection. Choosing to make even this broken body a slave to His mercy. Today the will is strong, but God help me for the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.