critical

so, I tend to be a bit critical, in general. Now this is a horrible attribute somewhat buffered by the fact that I'm even more critical of myself than I am of others. None the less, this year I have been strongly convicted of my need to truly love those around me. Love those Christ saw worthy of His life and death and blood. And I had a thought....

I adore Olivia. I don't think I knew what healthy pride was until I was a mom. I see all of her flaws crystal clear and have to deal with them regularly but I still LOVE and am so proud of my baby girl. I sometimes get to visit with people, good friends, family, and "family" who don't see her very often and I'm always a little nervous. What if they don't adore her like I do? What if they can't see in her all I see? What if her bad day overshadows the brilliance and radiance that I know of her. It has happened before; the look of disinterest. Seen one toddler seen 'em all in a way. And I wonder if the feeling of personal let down and rejection I feel personally for their disinterest towards her is anything a kin to what Christ feels when I judge or simply overlook one of His children. He is a jealous God we are told, and I imagine that means over those that are His.

I wish knowing this could catapult me into suddenly loving everyone, but I know me better than that. Still, I do hope it will give me a little perspective next time I want to walk past that person in need; of give me cause to rethink the way I enter or exit a situation...