re-birth

I am being joined to a church body this weekend. In the preparatory process, I talked with the pastor about what the church believed and what I believed to make sure it was a good fit and that there was no flippancy or ignorance in the matter. I was then interviewed by two of the church elders to confirm and acknowledge my sincerity in faith and consistency of belief. I was asked by one of the Elders if I'd been born again. Now, I know where this phrase comes from, John 3:1-21 tells the story of pharisee named Nicodemus who came secretly (to avoid being judged and criticized by his fellow pharisees) to ask Jesus what was the deal... Jesus responds that unless he is born again he can't possibly see the kingdom of heaven. Of course there's more but you can read it yourself.

The question caught me off guard for a few reasons, not the least of these being that the phrase "born again" is not largely used in modern day reformed theology. I was just sort of unsure how to respond and so echoed what Paul so perfectly states in Romans 7:4-6 that I am constantly at war with myself and that war is evidence that I am being renewed, sanctified, redeemed, that I have received the spirit who's work it is to work out my rebirth. Not that I have yet attained, but am seeking after.

I have been shocked by some quick responses of others in the affirmative that, "Yes I have been born again. Jesus says you must and so yes". I am fearful of this response. I hold back such a quick affirmation for fear of being the rich young man described in Matthew 19:16-22. He so confidently responds that yes, he has kept the law perfectly from his youth, God gave the rules, he said yes... then Jesus breaks it down to show him that he can't have possibly kept the rules, he's far too selfish.

I have not loved the Lord God with all my heart, soul, and mind, and because of that truth, I can say that I have not love my neighbor as myself. Have I been born again? yes, in a thousand moments, where my thoughts were illumined by the Spirit, where my actions were redeemed by the Truth. Yet, I am not yet the second Adam. I cling to the hope that one day we will be made like Him for we shall see Him as he is, and I believe that THAT will be our full, total, and complete re-birth. Then we shall see the kingdom of God. And even now this work is being done. I quickly affirm that I am involved in a mystery, but Lord, let me be slow to answer that I know anything other than the fact that you are God and you are Good.