Naked Moments

I had a naked moment yesterday. One of those moments when the truth of the situation is so visible, down to it's core. When the outside cover of the activities of our bodies can do nothing to conceal what our soul is struggling through.

I have been given a voice and opportunity to speak truth into some of those moments on a regular basis by the virtue of being a teacher. Sometimes though, when I find words I'm met with fear.

We are each so vulnerable. Even when fully "dressed" we work so constantly at convincing everyone (even ourselves) that we're ok. I never want to tread heavily on a naked moment. I never want to use my words to crush. Even if they are words of hope they can be heavy and hard...

Still, there is beauty in seeing things as they really are. So without the back story, as it is not mine to share, let me remember the naked truth.

I tend to muscle through things. There is nothing too hard, just keep your head down and pull at the harness, and get it done. When I walk uphill, I tend to go faster to beat the challenge. I have had to struggle for years to undo bad habits in dance and in life caused by my tendency to muscle my way through things. I look behind me and see I've mowed down a task or phase in life that could have been beautiful and enjoyable because I felt a need to muscle through, to get it done and not complain.


Pointe work is one of those things that requires a ton of resistance to the natural impulse to fight. You have to use gravity to create awareness and turn it into a tool. You have to use even the fatigue of your leg muscles to create bodily awareness and muscle recognition to strengthen the rapid fire and reaction of muscle/brain connection. All of life is a constant gravity and I often get weighed down under it. I feel like I have to fight it and bear down under its weight to muscle through. It turns me in on myself and makes me feel isolated and attacked. But here's the beauty! This same gravity was given as a tool for my use. It makes me aware. It can awaken my senses to my own frailty and the "muscles" I need to focus on using. I have a choice; I can get crushed and contorted by the strain, or I can use it as a tool to climb up on. Oh, let me chose the beautiful way! Let me view all of life and it's many forms of gravity as a ladder to climb up on. That by constant reminding of my weakness I might find strength to abide in His grace.