repetition

"Lift the front of your hips and drop your tail over the balls of your feet", "hips!" "balls of your feet!!"

This is pretty much the extent of what I say during barre of my ballet 2 classes right now. I say it over and over for the 30-45 minutes that make up barre. I get tired of saying it and weary of saying it. I try to come up with new ways of saying it so that it might make more sense or finally break thru the teen-age fog of bodily awareness into an actual practice of continually checking placement and weight distribution on an individual, personal level....

My life is a lot about repeating right now. Olivia asks "why" often and about the same things often. You'd think as a person who has wanted to be a mommy all my life and has wanted to teach and instruct all of my life that I would be thrilled to find my life engulfed in endless "lessons" in why and how. I in fact find myself impatient most of the time.

I was reminded yesterday of Jesus patience. I think often I listen to the disciples responses and think they must've had the IQ of a 2 year old because they really didn't get what seems so obvious to us now. I mean, come on!

The story of Mary Magdalene at the tomb. She'd waited all Sabbath doing I can't even imagine what... it was unlawful for her to dress her savior's body on the Sabbath so she waited. I can't even imagine how long that day must have felt. Then she gets to the tomb before it's even light the next day and he's gone. I was sort of curious to see exactly how many times Jesus had predicted his crucifixion and resurrection, so I did a little research today. I decided to stay consistent to only look at John's account since that's the one that talks about Mary Magdalene and then of the disciple's unbelief when she tells them that he is gone from the tomb. Turns out there are at least 11 times Jesus foretells his death and subsequent ascension (John 8:28; 10:17; 12:7, 23-36; 13:31-35; 14:2, 18-19; 16:4b-11, 16-20, and 28; and 17:11). And these are only the times when it's fairly clear what he's talking about. Now to be fair to Mary, she wasn't present for most of these, so she's at least a little off the hook right? lol. Still, I think if I'd been Jesus, when I appeared in that upper room where they were all hiding out shaking in their boots I would've done some serious eye rolling and palming my forehead and "oh my gosh!!! I told you...". But no. He just loves them and re-assures them, giving them His Spirit.

Ugh! And I feel I have some right to be frustrated because I have to repeat colors with Olive? Or potty training lessons? Or placement corrections in class? Of what worth are those things compared to Christ's repetition? Oh for patience and humility. Oh! to be like Christ in his death and resurrection... and so to love repetition.