Up until this weekend I was so consumed with what my future is becoming that I hadn't put a second thought into what I used to think my future would look like. Until this weekend. Shit!
I mean really! I'm a planner. I'd been waiting for YEARS to turn 24 so that the government would stop looking at my parents' money (which wouldn't help me) so that I could get sufficient financial aid to go to college without dying of debt. I guess the upside is that a 24 year old single mom gets even more financial aid (right?). Saving for some space of my own (pah! that's funny!). Gaining a few more years of Director's experience : lighting, tech, etc so that by 2012 I could be my own director or at least know for sure that I never want to be one : ) Then, somehow, with perfect timing, while all of this was falling neatly into place, I would meet Prince Charming : ) my family would love him, my friends would adore him. by the time I was done with school we'd be ready to have babys...bah!! i'm actually laughing right now. (i hope you are too)
My only hope is that my Father knows better than I do what my best possible future is; that since I was as little as my baby is today (4.5 inches btw) that He had a plan for me. A plan to prosper me, and that He's not checked out now. *sigh* realizing that you have no controle over your life is a crazy feeling.
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