ugh

I'm having a day... you know those days that you just won't be satisfied? I feel like a total alien, and there's nothing I can do about it. The church I've been attending for 5 years still isn't home to me, not one person there besides Erin and Brent know my name and no one cares. There was a family visiting for a few weeks who had a trauma and the church is now totally involved (don't get me wrong, the church is doing what they should always do in this case) . The think that gets selfish me is that not a soul there cares about my trauma. It's as though I am not a valuable member of that society because I don't have a husband or child (yet). 5 years! I took communion and shouldn't have... I was having second thoughts anyways because I feel like communion should be enjoyed with "family". The blessing I was given was, "this is the body of Christ broken for you"... I wanted to say duh! Could you give me something more? Something I haven't had memorized since I was 6? Could you truly bless me with a truth like, This is Christs body broken for you, his blood covers your sins of promiscuity, and adultery, you are clean child.... but no, no one there knows me...
I didn't go to Polaris because I knew that in that mood, I'd feel like an alien from Mars there. I'm out of so many loops these days...
I drove to Vancouver to buy myself consolatory "cheesy bread" and they were closed. Closed! Come on! what's the point of living in a pagan society if you can't have stores open on Sundays?!? We have no holy days people, we're America, the land of self-worship! I was peeved.
Either way, my day is over early. I thought I had #3 rehearsal, but it was canceled since the OBT school show is today. I have to do laundry for Utah, and go shopping, and pancake my shoes, and sew an extra pair in case...ugh! All I want to do is eat cheesy bread and sleep. : (