Growing up in the 21st century

I was pondering the other day the advice our parents give us. When i was as young as 12 my mom always told me, "I went from being the daughter of my mother to the mother of my daughter. Take time to be just you". Sage advice it seemed. So for the last 7 years I've been just me (more or less). Now I find that with myself as with many other single 20-somethings we are aboundingly selfish and self-consumed. It's not our fault really, it was the advice we were given more or less. I wonder for those of us who followed this path if we will suddenly learn to be selfless and die to our desires and preferences once we meet "the one", or once we have kids for that matter. I regularly see mothers in Starbucks who still haven't learned to shut up and listen yet.. their toddler is interupting their cell-phone conversation asking insatiably for affection, attention, and love meanwhile mum keeps ignoring while sipping ther perfect non-fat foam off her sugar-free vanilla late. Is it worth it? For the selfish one i'm sure it is, if someone else is somehow able to cleave to them dispite their (our) selfish tendencies. But what about for her child? I guess that's why we have public schools now where the teachers are the nurturers and true child raisers... if only the selfish knew what we were missing out on!
The other generational myth I'm analizing is the whole date around syndrome. It starts as young as Jr. High for some students though I didn't get my first kiss 'till I was 18. As a kid, you know you're not going to be with this person forever, in fact it often lasts only as long as the first fight. Then we move on...and on... and we bind a little more strongly each time trying to reassure ourselves that this is love... that this time I am in love, that I even am acapable of being in love. but still, we move on again. So, again in this situation, how often do we suddenly change when we meet "the one"? is there even a ONE? for each of us? My parents married when my mom was 20 and pregnant... they are the most in love people I know even though it's no the Disney story we all hope for. My Grandma was fresh out of highschool....she had to get written consent from my great-grandma. My grandparents are more in love now than ever before. So maybe we have it wrong. Maybe it's easier or better or more noble to discover who you can be with this other person or in this situation rather than discovering who you are on your own two feet. My Daddy always said my problem was that I wanted autonomy not independance... I realize now that I want freedom to be spontaneous, but I want someone by my side who wants to do it with me.
I think my advice to my little one will be more along these lines. You can be great in many situations. Single, coupled, married, as a parent or teacher or wanderer. Don't think that any one of these situations defines you, or that you need one specifically to be truely you. Find yourself in Him in all situations. Even if you're alone, be selfless. If there's someone to edify then be edified by the mutual edificaion you can achieve together. Always love.